i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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