Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
