so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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