Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
