I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
