My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
it's like iHOP with fire
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
