Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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