It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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