guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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