I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
