In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
