im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
