we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
