Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
