drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
