White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
