i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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