1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I want to fling myself into the sun
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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