dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
