wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
