When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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