She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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