From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
