I wish I could punch you in the face.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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