Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
