I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
