Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Randomize
