grandma shit on top of the toilet
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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