you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
