Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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