i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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