Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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