I can tuck mytits in my pants
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
