tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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