there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
