You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
