I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
