Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
