Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
