dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just high enough for therapy.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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