Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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