is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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