fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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