What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
