His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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