im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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