Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
