bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
