my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
