is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
