READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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