The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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